Subject: Two years since I found this place
Right so I was just sitting here drinking my morning coffee and realised it’s been exactly two years since I first posted here. Found this community when I was in the darkest place - hadn’t seen Emma and Lucas (13 and 11 now) for about 8 months at that point and honestly didn’t think I’d ever see them again.
My ex had done such a thorough job convincing them I was this terrible person who abandoned them. Which was insane because I’d been their primary carer for years after she moved to Amsterdam for work. But somehow I became the villain in their story.
I remember writing this desperate post at like 3am asking if anyone had actually gotten their kids back because all I could find online were horror stories. A few people here told me about Love Over Exile and I ordered it that same night. Best €15 I ever spent honestly.
The book completely changed how I approached everything. Instead of trying to defend myself or explain what “really” happened, I just started being consistent. Sent the same text every week: “I love you and I’m here when you’re ready.” No pressure, no guilt trips, nothing about your mother.
It took 14 months but Emma texted me back. Just “ok” but it was everything. Lucas took another 6 months after that.
Now I see them every other weekend and it’s… weird but good? We dont talk about the past really. Emma’s still a bit guarded but last weekend Lucas asked if I remembered how we used to make pancakes on Sunday mornings. Small things but they matter.
anyway just wanted to say thanks to this community. I know some of you are still waiting and I won’t lie and say it’s guaranteed to work out. But I’m proof it can happen.