My case went through the Raad about four years ago now, and I’m curious about others’ experiences here in the Netherlands. Seems like most posts are from the UK or US, which makes sense, but the Dutch system works quite differently.
In my situation, my ex had been blocking contact for almost two years at that point. The Raad appointed this woman — Marieke, I think her name was — and honestly, my first impression wasn’t great. She seemed to believe everything my ex told her about me being “emotionally unstable” and “pressuring the children.” I walked out of that first meeting feeling completely defeated.
But then something shifted. Maybe it was when my son Willem (he was 14 then) finally spoke up during one of their conversations. Or maybe Marieke just needed time to see the patterns. Either way, by the third meeting, she was asking my ex much harder questions about why the children were so afraid to even take my phone calls.
The process took eight months — felt like forever — but they eventually recommended supervised visits to start. Not ideal, but it was the first crack in the wall. My ex fought it, of course, but having the Raad’s backing made all the difference with the judge.
Now, two years later, Willem calls me regularly and we even had coffee last month. His little brother is still… well, it’s complicated. But that first Raad recommendation gave us the foundation to rebuild.
I know people complain about how slow they are, and yes, the bureaucracy can drive you crazy. But in my experience, they do eventually see through the manipulation if you stay consistent and document everything.
Anyone else dealt with the Raad? Curious about your experiences, especially if you’re also a father — sometimes I wonder if there’s still bias there, though Marieke seemed fair in the end.