I’ve been collecting these for months now, thought I’d share what’s been helping me through the darker moments.
PA-specific: Beyond the High Road - Dr. Baker’s interviews with other targeted parents. I sobbed through the episode with the mum from Manchester whose daughter came back after five years. Just knowing it can happen.
The Alienated Parent - More clinical but practical. The episode on “maintaining your sense of self” literally saved me during year two when I was disappearing into this whole mess.
General resilience stuff: The Tim Ferriss Show - I know, I know, sounds corporate but he interviews people who’ve survived impossible things. The episode with the Holocaust survivor changed how I think about endurance.
On Being with Krista Tippett - Deeper conversations about meaning and suffering. Her interview with Pema Chödrön about sitting with uncertainty… I must have listened to it twenty times last winter.
YouTube:
Tara Brach’s Wednesday talks. Free, kind, no bullshit. Her RAIN technique (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) has gotten me through more 3am panic sessions than I care to count.
The School of Life - Short videos about emotional resilience. “How to Survive Betrayal” and “On Self-Compassion” are bookmarked on my phone.
Meditation apps that double as podcasts:
Insight Timer has talks by Sarah Blondin - her voice feels like a warm hug when everything’s falling apart. “Welcome Uncertainty” is my go-to.
I listen mostly while walking or doing dishes. Something about keeping my hands busy while feeding my mind helpful things. The contrast between these voices of wisdom and the absolute silence from my children… well, it helps fill some of that space.
Oh my god, this list is gold. I’ve been drowning in legal paperwork for months and just… running on empty, you know? The silence from Emma is deafening some days and I keep reaching for anything that might help me feel less insane.
I’m definitely checking out Beyond the High Road - I need those stories of kids coming back. I’m stuck in this awful limbo where the court ordered a custody evaluation six months ago and we’re STILL waiting. My lawyer keeps saying “these things take time” but meanwhile Emma’s missing soccer season, missing our weekend hikes, missing everything. The other day I found myself googling “how long do custody evaluations actually take” at 2am like some kind of desperate detective. Your podcast list feels like actual lifelines instead of more legal dead-ends.
And Tara Brach - yes! I stumbled onto her stuff during one of those middle-of-the-night spiral sessions when I was convinced I was the worst mom in the world for “putting Emma through this.” Her talk about radical acceptance literally made me pull over on Highway 101 because I was crying so hard. Sometimes I think the only thing keeping me together is knowing other people have survived worse and found ways to be okay. The RAIN thing… I’m going to try that tonight instead of my usual ritual of staring at Emma’s empty room and wondering what bedtime stories she’s hearing instead of mine.
I could have written this post myself. Been building my own little library of voices that keep me sane too.
Beyond the High Road absolutely wrecked me - but in the best way? I remember driving home from Tesco after listening to that Manchester mum’s story and just sitting in the car park crying. Not the despairing kind I’d got used to, but something else. Like maybe this nightmare doesn’t last forever. My youngest started replying to my birthday cards last year - just her name at first, then “thanks mum” this past October. That podcast gave me permission to believe those tiny cracks of light might actually mean something.
I’m adding your suggestions to my playlist. Been rotating through the same five episodes of different things when the silence gets too loud. There’s something about having these wise voices in my ears while I’m folding washing or walking the dog - like borrowing someone else’s certainty when mine’s completely shot. I found this YouTube channel called Therapy in a Nutshell that breaks down trauma responses in ways that actually make sense. Her video on “how to stop taking things personally” probably saved my sanity when the court reports came back last spring.
The walking thing hits home. I do my longest route past their old primary school now - used to avoid it like the plague. But listening to Krista Tippett or whoever while I walk past those little memories… it’s like I can hold both things at once. The grief and the hope. Still hurts but doesn’t flatten me anymore.
Same here on the walking + listening combo. I do audiobooks during my morning runs in Prospect Park - something about the rhythm helps me actually absorb it instead of just spiraling.
Haven’t tried the PA-specific ones yet but I’m saving this list. Thanks for putting it together.
Dr Baker saved my sanity too. That Manchester mum episode - jesus, five years feels like forever when you’re only six months in like me.
I’m adding Tara Brach to my list, been looking for something that doesn’t make me want to throw my phone at the wall. Most meditation stuff feels too… fluffy? when your kids are literally on the other island and you’re fighting international custody laws.
mate, this list is gold. i’ve been drowning in all the wrong content - news, social media, anything that makes the noise in my head louder instead of quieter.
the cultural stuff makes it even harder for me to find resources that don’t feel completely alien. my family keeps saying “beta, just go talk to her, sort it out” like my ex-wife hasn’t spent two years turning my kids against me. they don’t get that you can’t just “sort out” systematic alienation, especially when she’s got her family backing her version of events. I’ve been carrying this shame on top of everything else - like somehow I failed as a father AND as an Indian son who should be able to “handle his household.”
started listening to Beyond the High Road after seeing your post and bloody hell, that Manchester mum’s story. when she said her daughter showed up at her door after five years saying “mum, I need to tell you what really happened” - I had to pull over and just sit in the car park outside Asda crying. my kids are 8 and 11 now and I keep thinking will they be 13 and 16 when they finally see through it all? will I even recognise them by then?
been trying the walking thing too. there’s this canal path near Regent’s Park where I put on whatever podcast and just move. better than sitting at home staring at photos of them from before everything went mental. what else you got in your collection?