Subject: New here - fighting in Texas, drowning in legal fees
So I found this place at 3am googling “my ex turned my kids against me” because apparently that’s what my life has become.
I’m Christine, mama to three amazing kids - Lily (13), Mason (11), and Emma (8). Or was, anyway. My ex filed for custody modification last year and somehow convinced the GAL that I’m the problem parent. The same woman who coached soccer teams and never missed a school play is apparently “unstable” now.
We’re in Texas where everything’s supposed to be bigger including justice but turns out that just means bigger lawyer bills. $34,000 and counting. My attorney keeps saying “document everything” like that’s gonna magically fix the fact that my kids now flinch when I try to hug them.
Emma told me last week that “Daddy says you don’t really love us because real moms don’t go to court.” She’s EIGHT. Those aren’t her words.
I’m not giving up but I’m also not sleeping and my savings account looks like a crime scene. Anyone else dealing with Texas courts? Because right now it feels like I’m fighting a rigged game with Monopoly money.
Sorry if this is rambling. Haven’t slept much lately.
Christ, Christine, £34,000 and that line about Emma… I had to put my cup down reading that because my hands started shaking. Eight years old and already been taught that mothers who fight for their children don’t love them. It’s beyond cruel.
I’m five years down this road now - lost my two grandchildren when my son remarried and his new wife decided I was “too involved” in their lives. Different situation to yours but that GAL comment hit me right in the chest. I remember sitting in those sterile offices while some woman with a clipboard who’d spent forty minutes with my family wrote reports about how I was “boundary-crossing” and “potentially destabilising.” These people wield such power over our lives and half the time they’ve already made up their minds before they meet us.
The money is obscene, isn’t it? We spent our retirement fund - £28,000 in eighteen months - and got nowhere except deeper into debt and further from the children we love. My husband kept saying we had to stop, that we couldn’t afford it, but how do you put a price on your grandchildren? Though I will say this about Texas courts from what I’ve read on here - they’re supposed to be more willing to look at parental alienation than some places. That might count for something when you get in front of the right judge. Document everything, yes, but also document the process of alienation itself - those awful things Emma’s saying that no child her age would think up alone.
Don’t apologise for rambling, love. We’re all stumbling around in the dark here trying to find our way back to our children.
God Christine, the $34,000 hit me hard because I’m at $28,000 here in Florida and climbing. That thing Emma said about real moms not going to court? My 10-year-old said almost the exact same thing to me last month - “why do you keep making daddy come to the scary place” meaning the courthouse. These aren’t their words and it’s so obvious but the system acts like kids just naturally develop these thoughts.
I’m also dealing with a GAL who’s bought into my ex’s narrative completely. False allegations in my case too and three hearings deep with no end in sight. The “document everything” advice is real but you’re right - it doesn’t fix the daily heartbreak of watching your own children pull away from you. texas courts have their own special brand of mess but the playbook seems pretty universal unfortunately.