Subject: Kids using my ex’s exact phrases - is this normal?
So this happened yesterday and I can’t stop thinking about it. My 8yo daughter was here for the weekend (first time in ages she actually came) and she said something that just… didn’t sound like her at all.
She was telling me why she doesn’t want to stay overnight anymore and used the exact phrase “Anna creates too much drama and stress for us kids.” Word for word what my ex says about me. Even the way she said “Anna” instead of mum.
When I asked her what she meant by drama, she couldn’t really explain it. Just kept repeating the same phrase.
Has anyone else noticed their kids suddenly using their ex’s exact words? Is this just kids repeating what they hear or is it something more? I’m probably overthinking but it felt so rehearsed and not like something an 8yo would naturally say.
I don’t want to make her feel bad for saying it but hearing my own daughter call me by my first name and basically quote her dad’s complaints about me… yeah that stung.
Anyone been through something similar?
The exact phrasing thing - I know this one. My son was 9 when he started saying I was “being difficult about arrangements” which was word for word what his dad always said. That clinical language that just doesn’t sound like a kid at all.
It’s so hard not to react when you hear your own child basically quoting criticism of you. I remember thinking the same thing - this feels rehearsed, this isn’t how he normally talks. The using your first name instead of mum really gets to you doesn’t it.
I never figured out if it was just him hearing it so much it became his normal way of thinking about things, or if it was more deliberate than that. Either way it hurt like hell x
God, the first name thing is like a knife, isn’t it? My grandson started calling me “June” instead of Nana when he was about that age - same robotic tone, same phrases about how I was “causing problems for the family.”
Eight year olds don’t naturally use words like “creates drama” - that’s pure adult vocabulary coming straight out of her little mouth. You’re not overthinking this at all.