Has anyone tried mediation when grandchildren are involved?
My solicitor mentioned family mediation as an option but I’m not sure it’s worth pursuing in my situation. It’s been five years since I’ve seen Emma (now 12) and Jack (now 10) - my son’s ex-wife completely cut contact after the divorce and my son… well, he’s chosen his path.
The thing is, would she even agree to mediation? She’s ignored every birthday card, every Christmas present I’ve sent. I don’t think she sees me as having any rights at all when it comes to the children. And honestly I’m terrified she’d just use it as another opportunity to tell me exactly what she thinks of me and our family.
But I keep thinking about Emma starting secondary school soon and I don’t even know which one. These milestones are slipping away.
Has anyone been through mediation specifically for grandparent contact? Did it help or just open old wounds? I’m 68 and running out of time to watch them grow up.
The mediator costs £150 per session which isn’t nothing on my pension but I’d pay it if there’s any chance…
God, the bit about Emma starting secondary school and you not even knowing which one - that’s exactly where I am with my daughter.
Five years is brutal, and honestly I don’t think mediation works when they won’t even acknowledge birthday cards exist.
Emma at 12, that’s such a hard age to miss. I tried mediation three years ago - she refused to attend after the first session.
Same boat mate. My daughter’s been gone 6 years now, she’s 17. I tried mediation back in year 2 when I was still scrambling for any solution that might work.
In my case, my ex daughter-in-law agreed to attend but spent the whole session listing why I was a terrible influence on the kids. The mediator was good, kept things civil, but you can’t mediate with someone who genuinely believes you shouldn’t exist in their children’s lives. Cost me £300 for two sessions that went nowhere.
That said, I’ve seen it work for others here where there’s at least some acknowledgment that grandparents matter. The fact she’s ignoring birthday cards suggests she’s pretty entrenched, but sometimes people soften when a neutral third party explains children’s rights to know their grandparents.
£150 isn’t cheap but if you’ve got any fight left in you, might be worth one session to see if she’ll even engage properly. Just go in with realistic expectations.