Question about school pickup - feeling lost
Right so this happened yesterday and I’m still shaken up. Went to pick up my 8yo daughter from school like normal and she just… froze when she saw me. Started crying and saying she didn’t want to come with me. The teacher looked so uncomfortable.
My ex appeared out of nowhere (which was weird cos he never does pickup) and Lily ran straight to him. She’s been saying she doesn’t want to stay at mine for the past few weeks but this was different. More intense.
Has anyone else had their kid react like this at school? I’m mortified that other parents saw. And I don’t understand why she’s suddenly so scared of coming with me when nothing’s changed on my end.
Do I keep trying normal pickup or does that make it worse? I’m supposed to have her Wednesday nights and alternate weekends but she’s refused the last three times. My ex just shrugs and says “kids will be kids” but this doesn’t feel normal.
What would you do?
This is so familiar it hurts. My youngest Jack did almost exactly this when he was 7 - the freezing, the tears, running to his mum like I was some kind of stranger. It was outside his primary school in Chorlton and I’ll never forget how the other parents looked at me.
The “appearing out of nowhere” bit really stands out to me. In my case, my ex had started doing surprise pickups right around the time the boys got weird with me. Turned out she’d been telling them I was “unreliable” and might not show up, so she had to be there “just in case.” Made me look like the problem when I was there every single time.
I kept doing the pickups even when it was agony. Took about six months before Jack stopped the dramatics, but I’m glad I didn’t give up that routine. The school eventually clocked what was happening too - the head teacher actually pulled me aside to say they’d noticed the pattern.
Stay consistent mate. I know it’s brutal when other parents are watching, but Lily needs to see you’re not going anywhere.