Ex keeps showing up making comments

Understanding PA
1

Question about school pickup

so my youngest Jake (8) has his school sports day next Thursday and I don’t know what to do. i’ve got partial contact sorted through the court but my ex Caroline keeps showing up to everything and making these comments to other parents about how “some people just abandon their children” and I can see them all looking at me weird now

last week at parents evening she made this big show of sitting right next to Jake’s teacher going “well as his PRIMARY carer I think…” really loud so everyone could hear. Jake won’t even look at me anymore when she’s there, just stares at the ground

do I go and risk another scene? I want to see him run his race so badly but I can’t handle her making out like I’m some deadbeat dad when three months ago I was doing the school runs every single day. She’s got everyone thinking I walked out on them when she’s the one who moved 40 miles away with zero notice

has anyone dealt with this? School events when your ex is poisoning everyone against you? I feel like I’m damned if I do damned if I don’t xx

2

I know this feeling so well. My ex did similar things at Liam’s school - always making sure other parents heard her version. It was horrible to stand there while people looked at you like you’re the villain.

For me, I decided to keep going to the school events anyway. Not for her or the other parents, but for my son. Even when Liam wouldn’t look at me, I stayed. I think on some level he knew I was there for him. It took time but eventually some parents started to see through her act - children talk, and the truth has a way of coming out.

Go to Jake’s sports day. Bring a book or stay near the back if it helps, but be there for his race. Don’t engage with Caroline’s comments, just focus on cheering for Jake. The other parents… their opinions will change when they see you consistently showing up despite everything.

Your presence matters more than her words, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.