Court yesterday - feeling defeated

Subject: Court yesterday - feeling defeated

Had our directions hearing yesterday after 14 months of nothing. Spent $32,000 so far and I’m basically broke.

The judge barely looked up when my barrister explained about Oliver being taken to Queensland without proper notice. Just said “the child appears settled in his new environment” - settled? He was 8 when his dad just moved him 1200km away from everything he knew. From me.

My ex’s lawyer had this thick folder of “evidence” about why I’m supposedly unstable. Screenshots of text messages where I was begging to see my son, phone records showing I called “excessively” (I called twice a week), even a report from Oliver’s new school saying he seems happy. Of course he seems happy at school - kids adapt, that’s what they do.

The ICL spent an hour with Oliver via video call and said he “expressed no desire to see his mother.” Those aren’t his words. Three years ago he used to cry when I dropped him back at his dad’s place.

Judge ordered another family report even though we had one 18 months ago that recommended increased time with me. My barrister says these things take time but I’m watching my boy grow up through his dad’s Instagram posts. He’s 11 now and I’ve missed everything.

Next court date is February. Another $8k at least. My solicitor keeps saying we need to be patient but I don’t know how much more patient I can be x

Anyone else feel like the system just… doesn’t care about parents like us?

God, $32k and the judge barely looked up? That’s exactly what happened to me last month - spent 5 minutes on 18 months of evidence.

The “appears settled” line made me sick. They said the exact same thing about my daughter when she was moved to Sydney at 9.

Six years later and I still want to punch something when I hear that phrase.