Title: Christmas cards returned to sender
So I sent Christmas cards to the twins like I do every year. Nothing fancy, just normal cards from Woolies with a photo of me and Mum at the beach last month. Wrote about how I miss them, how I think about them every day, how I hope they’re doing well in year 6.
Both came back today. “Return to sender - not at this address” written in my ex’s handwriting. Same address I’ve been sending to for 4 years. Same address where I know they still live because my sister drove past last week and saw the twins playing cricket in the front yard.
It’s been 4 years since I’ve seen their faces properly. Four years since Sophie used to steal Jake’s chips and he’d get so mad he’d go red. Four years since they both climbed into my bed on Saturday mornings demanding pancakes.
They’re 11 now. Year 6. I dont even know if Sophie still loves horses or if Jake’s still obsessed with minecraft. I don’t know what they look like really except for that one photo my mum’s friend saw on Instagram before his wife made everything private.
The cards are sitting on my kitchen table now and I keep looking at them. Part of me wants to drive over there and knock on the door but I know that’ll just make things worse. My lawyer said don’t, the court orders are clear about contact.
I just wanted them to know their mum is thinking of them at Christmas. That’s all. Just that I love them and I’m here when they’re ready.
Four bloody years. How is this even legal.