Okay weird question but my lawyer Karen told me to start keeping what she called an “emotional diary” along with all the factual stuff I’m already documenting. Like write down how I feel when my ex pulls another stunt with the kids, not just what happened.
This feels… I dunno, touchy-feely for a court case? I’m used to keeping track of missed calls, canceled visits, the stuff that actually matters. But she says judges need to see the “human impact” or whatever.
Anyone else been told to do this? Does it actually help in court or is this just therapist stuff disguised as legal strategy? I’ve got a hearing coming up in November and I’m already drowning in paperwork without adding feelings journals to the mix.
My kids are 7, 10, and 13 and I haven’t seen them since August because their mom keeps finding excuses. I can document that till I’m blue in the face but apparently that’s not enough anymore.
This is exactly what my lawyer Sarah told me to do back in 2018. I thought she was having a laugh at first - like seriously, you want me to write “dear diary, today I felt sad again”?
But I did it anyway because I was desperate and it actually came up in court. The judge read bits of it out loud and I could see something shift in her face when she got to the part where I wrote about forgetting the twins’ voices. How I’d started playing old voicemails just to remember what they sounded like.
Your lawyer’s onto something with the human impact stuff. The facts are important but judges see dozens of cases like ours every week. Mine said later that the diary helped her understand what this was actually doing to our family, not just the legal mechanics of it all.
I still keep writing in it sometimes, even though court’s long over. It’s become this weird habit now.
Christ, yes - my solicitor Priya said the exact same thing last month. I felt like a proper mug writing “today I felt devastated when Maya cancelled the Saturday contact again” but apparently the judges want to see we’re actual humans, not just angry dads with a list of complaints.
Haven’t had my hearing yet so can’t tell you if it works, but Priya reckons it shows the emotional damage to us AND the kids. Worth a shot when you haven’t seen them since August mate.
God yes, my lawyer told me the same thing last month and I thought she’d lost her mind. THIRTY-FOUR THOUSAND in legal fees and now I’m supposed to write Dear Diary entries about my feelings?
But honestly? After the GAL disaster I’m willing to try anything at this point.
God yes, my lawyer told me the same thing back in February when we were prepping for my second hearing. I thought it was absolute bullshit at first — like you said, how are my feelings gonna matter when there’s actual evidence of what’s happening?
But honestly? It ended up being one of the smartest things I did. When I got on the stand in April, the judge asked me directly how the false accusations had affected me personally, not just factually. I had this whole entry about sitting in my car after a canceled visit in March, writing down how I felt watching other parents pick up their kids from soccer while mine think I’m some kind of monster. The judge’s whole demeanor changed when I read that part. It wasn’t just “parent A did this, parent B did that” anymore — it was real.
The trick is being specific about how their actions affect YOU, not just ranting about how awful they are. Like when my ex told my 9-year-old that I “hurt mommy” (which never happened), I wrote about how that felt when Emma repeated it back to me during our supervised call. The supervised visits coordinator even referenced my emotional documentation in her report to the court.
Your timeline sounds brutal — August to November with no contact? Document how that feels each week, especially around moments that should be normal parent stuff. It’s not touchy-feely when it shows the judge what parental alienation actually does to families.