New here
G’day everyone. Brian from Melbourne. Found this place through Google at 3am when I couldn’t sleep again.
My daughter Emma’s been gone 6 years now. She was 11 when her mum moved interstate and slowly turned her against me. Court orders meant nothing. Phone calls went from weekly to monthly to nothing. Last contact was a text telling me she never wanted to see me again - didn’t sound like her words but.
She’s 17 now. Sometimes I wonder if she even remembers the dad who taught her to ride a bike or read her stories every night.
I’ve done the therapy rounds, read all the books. Still hurts but I’ve learned to live with it. Thought maybe I could help some of you who are newer to this shitstorm.
Not much more to say really. This is a crap club to be in but at least we’re not alone in it.
Brian
Brian, that text not sounding like her words - god, I know exactly what you mean. when my youngest was 14 she sent me this formal message about “requiring space” and I thought who the hell taught her to talk like that?
Those bedtime stories and bike rides, they’re still in there somewhere. I know it sounds like bollocks when you’re in the thick of it, but I started getting little signs at year 7 - just tiny things, like she’d “accidentally” like an old photo on Facebook then unlike it straight away. Last month she actually replied to my birthday card with “thanks Dawn” - not mum, but it’s something.
17’s still so young Brian, even though it feels ancient when you’re counting years. The dawn might be coming sooner than you think.
God Brian, 6 years. I’m sitting here at my kitchen table and that just hit me like a brick wall. My youngest was 11 too when everything fell apart - that age where they still need you but they’re starting to figure out the world, you know? The bike rides, the bedtime stories… I get that completely.
I’m three years in myself and some days I still can’t believe this is my life. Those 3am moments are the worst aren’t they. I’ve started keeping a journal by my bed for when sleep won’t come - just writing to my kids even though they’ll never read it. Helps sometimes.
You’re right about it being a crap club. But there’s something about people who really understand that makes the weight a bit easier to carry.