New here? Say hello

New here? Say hello

Pinned post by Malcolm - Community Founder

Hey everyone,

I’m Malcolm, and I started Love Over Exile three years ago when I was sitting in my car outside a McDonald’s in Portland, crying because my daughter Emma had just hung up on me for the third time that week. She was 12 then. I thought I was losing my mind.

If you’ve found your way here, chances are you know that feeling. The one where the ground has shifted under everything you thought you knew about being a parent.

This thread is for introductions — your first hello if you want to give one. Use whatever name feels right. Sarah, Dad42, Heartbroken in Houston — doesn’t matter to us. Share as much or as little as you’re comfortable with. Some folks write novels, others just say “hi, I’m here.” Both are perfect.

You’ll notice we use stage tags here — they help people find others in similar situations:

:seedling: Early Days - Just realized what’s happening, still trying to make sense of it all
:high_voltage: Crisis Mode - In the thick of legal battles, emergency situations, or major changes
:snow_capped_mountain: Long Haul - Been at this for a while, learning to live with the new reality
:sunrise: Reconnection - Working on rebuilding relationships with kids
:green_heart: Mentor - Been through it, here to support others

Don’t stress about picking the “right” one. I’ve been every single one of these at different times. Sometimes in the same week.

This community gets it. We’ve all sat in that car, staring at our phones, wondering how we got here. You’re not alone in this, and you don’t have to figure it out by yourself.

Welcome. I’m glad you found us, even though I’m sorry you had to.

Malcolm

God, I’m sitting in my car right now reading this. Just found this place and I think I’m exactly where you were three years ago.

Hi Malcolm, I’m Raj from Leeds.

:seedling: Early days for me — my ex moved back to her mum’s with our 8-year-old son after our divorce, and suddenly I’ve gone from seeing Arjun every other weekend to… nothing. The family keeps asking what I did wrong, like it’s some failing on my part as a father.

Just trying to work out what’s actually happening here.

Just found this place last night after another failed FaceTime attempt with my son. I’m definitely in the :seedling: early days camp and honestly still trying to wrap my head around what’s even happening here.