New here? Drop a hello
Hey everyone,
I’m Malcolm, and I started this little corner of the internet because I needed somewhere to land when my world got turned upside down. That was about four years ago now, when my daughter Emma stopped taking my calls.
If you’ve found your way here, you’re probably in some version of that same devastation. Maybe your kids won’t see you. Maybe they’re repeating things that sound nothing like the parent-child relationship you remember. Maybe you’re staring at your phone wondering if today’s the day you’ll get that text back.
First thing — you’re not crazy. What’s happening to you has a name, and you’re not alone in it.
This thread is for hellos. Use whatever name feels right — lots of us go by something other than what’s on our driver’s license. Share whatever you’re comfortable with. Could be “Hi, I’m Sarah and I haven’t seen my son in eight months.” Could be “I’m here because I Googled ‘why does my kid hate me now’ at 3am.”
You’ll notice we use stage tags here — CRISIS if you’re in the thick of it, LEARNING if you’re trying to figure out what happened, REBUILDING if you’re finding your footing again. Don’t worry about getting it perfect. I change mine depending on the day.
I won’t lie to you — this is brutal territory. But I’ve watched people in this community find their way back to themselves, and some even back to their kids. Not all stories end the same way, but they don’t all end in permanent loss either.
So drop a hello. We’ll be here.
Malcolm
Hi Malcolm, I’m Anna from Melbourne.
My kids stopped coming to my place about three months ago and I’m still trying to wrap my head around what’s actually happening. Found this place after way too many late night Google searches that all led nowhere good.
Thanks for making somewhere we can land when everything feels upside down.
Hi, I’m Raj.
Been about six months since my kids stopped answering my calls, and my family keeps asking when I’m going to “fix this mess” like it’s something I broke.
Malcolm — I’m Mark from Ohio, and I’ve been lurking here for a couple weeks now trying to work up the courage to actually post something. Your words about staring at the phone waiting for that text back… man, that hit me square in the chest. I’m eight months into this nightmare with my 12-year-old son Jake, and that’s basically been my entire existence.
It started when his mom moved him three hours away “for a better school district” — which I now realize was just the opening move. First it was missed calls because he was “busy with homework.” Then the weekend visits got shorter because he had “friend obligations.” Now I’m getting these weird, stilted text responses that don’t sound anything like the kid who used to send me twenty photos a day of his skateboard tricks. My lawyer — well, my second lawyer, the first one was useless — keeps telling me to document everything, so I’ve got this depressing spreadsheet tracking every cancelled call and shortened visit.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around this whole parental alienation thing. Like, I knew bitter divorces happened, but I never imagined someone could systematically turn your own child against you and make it look like the kid’s choice. Learning there’s an actual playbook for this stuff is both validating and terrifying. Thanks for making this place, Malcolm. Already feels less lonely just typing this out.
Mark (LEARNING, I guess?)